How To Dance In The Rain June 23, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentIt was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to
eat breakfast with his wife.
I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a
while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are’?
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is’.
I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life’.
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have.
I hope you share this with someone you care about.
‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.’
Living Meaningfully - A Talk by Ajahn Brahm May 16, 2008
Posted by koky in : Philosophy, Religion , add a commentIn the summer of 1969, just after my 18th birthday, I was enjoying my first experience of tropical jungles. I was travelling in the Yucatan Peninsula of Northeast Guatemala, heading for the recently discovered pyramids of the vanished Mayan civilization.
In those days, travel was difficult. It took me three or four days to cover the few hundred kilometres from Guatemala City to the ruined temple complex known as Tical. I travelled up narrow rainforest rivers on oil-soaked fishing boats, down winding dirt roads balanced atop heavily loaded trucks, and through small jungle paths on ramshackle rickshaws. It was a region remote, poor and pristine.
When I finally arrived at the extensive complex of abandoned temples and ancient pyramids, I had neither guide nor guide book to tell me the meaning of those impressive stone monuments pointing to the sky. Nobody was around. So I started climbing one of the tall pyramids.
On reaching the top, I suddenly knew the meaning of the pyramid, its purpose.
For the previous three days, I had been travelling exclusively through jungle. The roads, paths and rivers were like tunnels through the dense greenery. Jungle quickly made a ceiling above any new thoroughfare. I hadn’t seen the horizon for many days. Indeed, I hadn’t seen far distances at all. I was in jungle.
On top of that pyramid, I was above all the tangle of the jungle. Not only could I see where I was in the map-like panorama spread before me, but also I could now see in all directions, with nothing between infinity and me.
Standing up there as if on top of the world, I imagined what it might have been like for a young Mayan Indian who had been born in the jungle, raised in the jungle, who had lived all their life in the jungle. I pictured them in some religious rite of passage being led gently by the hand, by a wise old holy man, up to the summit of a pyramid for the very first time. When they rose above the tree line and beheld their jungle world unfolded and spread out before them, when they gazed beyond the limits of their world to the horizon and above, they would see emptiness above and around, with no thing and no body between them and the infinite. Their hearts would resonate with the clear symbols of Truth. Insights would flower and give their fruit. They would understand their place in their home world, and they would have seen the infinite, the emptiness, which embraces it all. Their life would have found its meaning.~O~
Living meaningfully requires such deep insights. We all need to grant ourselves the time and the peace to climb that pyramid inside each one of us, to rise above and beyond the tangled jungle that is our life, if only for a short time. Then we will see for ourselves our place among things, the overview of our life-journey, and gaze unimpeded at the infinity holding it all. Call that meditation if you will, silent knowing or still seeing. It is just like the Mayan Indian ascending the pyramid and transcending his jungle home, so as to find meaning.~O~
I could tell you what “living meaningfully” is, but that would just add one more philosophy to the confusion of spiritual sciences that you may already be burdened with. One of be beauties of Buddhism is that it does not tell you what to believe, but it tells you how to find out.
For example, for many years, I believed what other people told me about happiness.
When I was 14 years old, I was studying for my O-level examinations in a high school in London. My parents and teachers advised me to stop playing soccer in the evenings and weekends, but instead to stay at home giving the time to my homework. They explained how important the O-level exams were and that if I did well, then I’d be happy.
So I followed their advice and did very well. But it didn’t make me that happy because my success meant that now I must study even harder, for another two years, for the A-level exams. My parents and teachers advised me to stop going out in the evenings and weekends, chasing girls now rather than chasing a football, but instead to stay at home and study. They told me how important the A-level exams were and that if I did well, then I’d be happy.
So I followed their advice and, once again, did very well. But once again, it didn’t make me that happy, because now I had to study hardest of all, for three more long years, at a University for a degree. My parent (my father was now dead) and teachers advised me to steer clear of the bars and parties, but instead to work hard. They told me how essential a University degree is for success in life, and that if I did well, then I’d be happy.
At this point, I started to become suspicious.
I saw some of my older friends who had done well, got their degrees and were working jolly hard. They told me that they were working so hard to save up money to buy something important. When they had enough to buy themselves a car, or a small apartment, then they’d be happy.
When they had bought their small car, they still weren’t too happy. They were struggling in the turmoil of romance, looking for their partner in life. When they were married, they said to me, then they’d be happy.
Once married they would have to work so hard to buy a bigger apartment, or even a dream house. “When we have saved up enough to put down a deposit, then we’ll be happy”, they explained.
Then they would have children to wake them up at night, soak up all their spare money and generate a quantum leap in worry. Happiness would once again be put off. As so many told me, “Once the kids are grown up, left home and settled, then we can do what we want”. Then they’d be happy.
By the time the kids had left home, the parents were staring at retirement. They continued to work hard, investing and saving for their old age. “When I retire”, they said, “Then I’ll be happy”.
Even before they retired, and certainly after, my elderly relatives and friends were all going to church. Have you ever noticed how many old people like going to temples and churches? That is because they all think, “When I die, then I’ll be happy”!
That was the sort of happiness they wanted me to believe in: “When you get this or get that, then you’ll be happy”. Happiness was always a dream in the future, like a rainbow one or two steps ahead, but forever just out of reach. Something was wrong. No one was really happy now.
That is what happens when we simply believe others, rather than seeing the truth for ourselves. If you live your life pursuing possessions, accumulating attachments, even hurrying after heaven - you will discover that you are not living meaningfully.~O~
Many modern media gurus propose that a fulfilling relationship is the key to living meaningfully. Too many of us, I think, buy that line without questioning it fully.
Why is it that we don’t choose our children, yet we love them forever, and unconditionally? Even if they turn out far less than desired, we still love them. On the other hand, although we carefully choose our husband or wife, checking them out more thoroughly than anything else in our life before signing the contract, on the whole we do not love them forever, and certainly never unconditionally! Why?
It is because the love that flows between partners in a relationship is not the same as the love that flows between parents and children.
In an article in Time magazine several years ago entitled, “The Chemistry of Love”, bio-chemists demonstrated that when boy meets girl over a romantic, candle-lit dinner, hormones are secreted into the bloodstream to produce a chemically induced high. Your partner literally “turns you on”. And you love that high, not that person. Or as Time put it, “You love the way they make you feel”. Later, when your body builds up a natural tolerance to those chemicals, your partner doesn’t turn you on any more. So it’s not their fault after all. It is just chemistry. So, please, never shout and get angry with your partner, shout and get angry at the chemistry book instead!
The love between a parent and a child is substantially different. You love them even though there may be nothing in it for you. You love them irrespective of the way they make you feel. It is selfless love, unconditional love.
My father revealed such a love to me when I was only 13, or so. When there was only the two of us sitting in his old car, in a backstreet of West London, he turned round and said to me.
“Son, whatever you do in your life, the door of my house will always be open to you.” Then he drove back to our home.
I was, at the time; too young to understand what he meant, but old enough to know it was something important. I remembered it. Only many years later, long after my father had died, while I was a young monk, did I decipher its real meaning.
His house, our home, was a small rented apartment in a poor area of West London. It wasn’t much of a place to open to anyone. We were never afraid of burglars, because we thought that if a burglar came in and saw our place, then he would probably leave us something out of his own pocket from compassion!
What my father meant, what he was really trying to say was:
“Son, whatever you do in your life, the door to my heart will always be open to you”.
That is what is meant by unconditional love. That is the type of love often found between parents and children. That is selfless love. No-strings-attached love. Freeing love. “Whatever you do in your life, the door to my heart will always be open to you”~O~
Back to relationships, which type of love flows between you and your partner? Here’s a test for you to find out.
Imagine your partner. Do you really love them? Do you want them to be happy? Do you truly care about their well being? Is their happiness the most important thing in the world for you?
Now imagine that you go home from this conference to find that your partner has run off to Paris with your best friend for a steamy affair. How would you feel?
If you really cared for their well being, then you would be thrilled to hear how happy they both are now. If you really loved your partner, you’d be overjoyed that they are now even happier with your best friend than they were with you. If your loved one’s happiness was that important to you, you would be ecstatic - Oh What Joy! — to read that they were having such a great time together in the moonlight by the Seine. You always wanted your partner to be happy, now they are. What’s the problem?~O~
This test makes the point that love in most relationships is selfish love, conditioned love. It is rooted in attachment and branches, sooner or later, into suffering. They say there are three rings in a marriage:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
And suffer-ring
~O~Selfless love is without attachment. It is rooted in giving and branches, inevitably, into freedom. It is the type of love which says, “Whatever you do, the door of my heart is open to you”. It is the way that we can all live meaningfully.
Such selfless love is the foundation of all charity work. If you give a donation expecting recognition, that is not selfless. If you serve a community wanting to be praised, that is not giving. If you offer your friendship to another wanting something in return, then that is not compassion. Charity, like selfless love, says, “Whatever you do, whoever you are, I give you my heart and share it with you”.
Even monks practise charity. My monastic life is a festival of giving.
A woman called me on the phone an hour before I was to give a public talk.
“Are you speaking tonight?” she politely enquired.
“Yes, madam. The talk begins a 7.30 pm”, I replied.
“How much does it cost to get in?” she continued.
“Nothing, madam, nothing at all”, I explained.
“No, no!” she interrupted, “You don’t understand. How much money do I have to pay?”
“Madam, you don’t have to pay any money. All my talks are free”.
“Listen!” she shouted down the phone line, “DOLLARS! CENTS! How much must I cough up to get through the door?”
“Madam”, I said soothingly, “You don’t cough up any money at the door, neither on the way in nor on the way out. We don’t ask for your name nor press you for a donation. If you don’t like the talk, you may walk out at any time. It’s free”.
There was a long pause.
“Well” she said with sincere consternation, “What do you guys (meaning `monks’) get out of this then?”
“Happiness, madam”, I replied, “We only get happiness”.~O~
Such selfless giving is the difference between living life meanly and living life meaningfully. The more you let go the more richly one lives. That’s why all the donation boxes in my temples in Perth are called “Letting Go Boxes”.
The only thing that makes me sad is when people do not live meaningfully and waste their precious life.
When you live your life meaningfully not only will you die joyfully, but you will also give so much joy to all who meet with you, in your life and in death.
Ajahn Brahm was borned in London and, now lives in a monastery in Australia.
I Wish You ENOUGH for The Rest of Your Life April 10, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentRecently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’
The daughter replied, ‘Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.’
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’
‘Yes, I have,’ I replied. ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?’.
‘I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ she said.
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’
She began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’ She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
* Only if you wish send this to the people you will never forget and remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don’t send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE… ..
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.
Appreciating Life March 8, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentOne day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son.
How was the trip?
It was great, Dad.
Did you see how poor people live? the father asked.
Oh yeah, said the son.
So, tell me, what you learned from the trip? asked the father.
The son answered:
I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end…
…We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond
…We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them
The boy’s father was speechless
Then his son added, Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are
Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing?
Appreciate every single thing you have!
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don’t have
Mental Feng Shui February 8, 2008
Posted by koky in : Life, Philosophy , add a commentThe Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.
FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
Send this link out to as many people as possible…
Summary of Life February 5, 2008
Posted by koky in : Philosophy , add a commentGREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1 — You believe in Santa Claus.
2 — You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3 — You are Santa Claus.
4 — You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. having a driver’s license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
I’ve Learned - Enlightened Perspective December 3, 2007
Posted by koky in : Philosophy , add a comment
I’ve Learned - An Enlightened Perspective
| I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day. I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right. I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way. I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for. I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class. I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I’ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds. I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. I’ve learned… That life is tough, but I’m tougher. I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away. I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life. I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it. I’ve learned…. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. |
- Written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words
Your Destiny November 12, 2007
Posted by koky in : Philosophy , add a commentA long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.
Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as
fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could.
He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.
Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying.
Then he asked himself, “Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself.”
The above story is similar with the journey of our Life.
We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition.
We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.
One day when we look back, we will realize that we don’t really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.
Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition .
Life is definitely not about work!
Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life.
Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time.
You have to decide how you want to balance your Life.
Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts.
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.
So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature.
Life is fragile, Life is short.
Do not take Life for granted.
Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.