Did I Marry The Right Person? July 8, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life , add a commentDuring one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, ‘How do I know if I married the right person?’ I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, ‘It depends. Is that your husband?’ In all seriousness, she answered ‘How do you know?’
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.
Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called ‘falling’ in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, ‘I was swept off my feet.’ Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, ‘Did I marry the right person?’ And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t ‘find’ LASTING love. You have to ‘make’ it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression ‘the labor of love.’ Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can ‘make’ love.
Love in marriage is indeed a ‘decision’… Not just a feeling.
Remember this always:
‘God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.’
How To Dance In The Rain June 23, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentIt was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to
eat breakfast with his wife.
I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a
while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are’?
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is’.
I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life’.
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have.
I hope you share this with someone you care about.
‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.’
Husband and Wife Jokes June 16, 2008
Posted by koky in : Jokes, Life , add a commentHusband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: “Your honor, I want to divorce my husband.”
“But why ?” asked the judge.
She replied, “Because he is not faithful to me.”
The judge asked, “How do you know?”
She replied, “My lord, not a single child resembles him.”
Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month after I die I want you to marry Samy.”
“Samy! But he is your enemy !”
“Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer now.”
Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”
Husband & Wife - Why?
” Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man’s arms. ”
Why, Dad ? Tell me why!”
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”
Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
“Why complain?” said the counselor. “You’re still getting the same service!”
Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : “My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?”
Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”
Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.”
One of his friends asked.”And when you are angry, what do you do?”
The man replied, “I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.
“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?”
The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.”
Husband & Wife - Problem Father
“You looked troubled,” I told my friend, “what’s your problem?”
He replied, “I’m going to be a father.”
“But that’s wonderful,” I said.
“What’s wonderful? My wife doesn’t know about it yet!.
Why I forward you a joke April 29, 2008
Posted by koky in : Jokes, Life , add a commentA man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’
‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.
’Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.
‘Of course, sir, Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.’
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
‘Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the traveler asked.
‘I’m sorry; sir, but we don’t accept pets.’
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’
‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.’
‘How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog.
‘There should be a bowl by the pump.’
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked.
‘This is Heaven,’ he answered.
‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’
‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold streets and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.’
‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’
‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.’
Soooo …
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how, you forward jokes.
Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?
A forwarded joke:
So, next time if you get a joke, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.
I Wish You ENOUGH for The Rest of Your Life April 10, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentRecently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’
The daughter replied, ‘Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.’
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’
‘Yes, I have,’ I replied. ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?’.
‘I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ she said.
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’
She began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’ She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
* Only if you wish send this to the people you will never forget and remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don’t send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE… ..
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.
Appreciating Life March 8, 2008
Posted by koky in : Family, Life, Philosophy , add a commentOne day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son.
How was the trip?
It was great, Dad.
Did you see how poor people live? the father asked.
Oh yeah, said the son.
So, tell me, what you learned from the trip? asked the father.
The son answered:
I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end…
…We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond
…We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them
The boy’s father was speechless
Then his son added, Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are
Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing?
Appreciate every single thing you have!
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don’t have
A priest who saw heaven, hell, and purgatory March 1, 2008
Posted by koky in : Life, Religion , add a commentThe death experience of Father Jose Maniyangat
Fr. Jose Maniyangat is currently the pastor of St. Mary’s Mother of Mercy Catholic Church in Macclenny, Florida. Here is his personal testimony:
I was born on July 16, 1949 in Kerala, India to my parents, Joseph and Theresa Maniyangat. I am the eldest of seven children: Jose, Mary, Theresa, Lissama, Zachariah, Valsa and Tom.
At the age of fourteen, I entered St. Mary’s Minor Seminary in Thiruvalla to begin my studies for the priesthood. Four years later, I went to St. Joseph’s Pontifical Major Seminary in Alwaye, Kerala to continue my priestly formation. After completing the seven years of philosophy and theology, I was ordained a priest on January 1, 1975 to serve as a missionary in the Diocese of Thiruvalla.
On Sunday April 14, 1985, the Feast of the Divine Mercy, I was going to celebrate Mass at a mission church in the north part of Kerala, and I had a fatal accident. I was riding a motorcycle when I was hit head-on by a jeep driven by a man who was intoxicated after a Hindu festival. I was rushed to a hospital about 35 miles away.
On the way, my soul came out from my body and I experienced death. Immediately, I met my Guardian Angel. I saw my body and the people who were carrying me to the hospital. I heard them crying and praying for me. At this time my angel told me: “I am going to take you to Heaven, the Lord wants to meet you and talk with you.” He also said that, on the way, he wanted to show me hell and purgatory.
Hell
First, the angel escorted me to hell. It was an awful sight! I saw Satan and the devils, an unquenchable fire of about 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit, worms crawling, people screaming and fighting, others being tortured by demons. The angel told me that all these sufferings were due to unrepented mortal sins. Then, I understood that there are seven degrees of suffering or levels according to the number and kinds of mortal sins committed in their earthly lives.
The souls looked very ugly, cruel and horrific. It was a fearful experience. I saw people whom I knew, but I am not allowed to reveal their identities. The sins that convicted them were mainly abortion, homosexuality, euthanasia, hatefulness, unforgiveness and sacrilege.
The angel told me that if they had repented, they would have avoided hell and gone instead to purgatory. I also understood that some people who repent from these sins might be purified on earth through their sufferings. This way they can avoid purgatory and go straight to heaven.
I was surprised when I saw in hell even priests and Bishops, some of whom I never expected to see. Many of them were there because they had misled the people with false teaching and bad example.
Purgatory
After the visit to hell, my Guardian Angel escorted me to purgatory. Here too, there are seven degrees of suffering and unquenchable fire. But it is far less intense than hell and there was neither quarreling nor fighting.
The main suffering of these souls is their separation from God. Some of those who are in purgatory committed numerous mortal sins, but they were reconciled with God before their death. Even though these souls are suffering, they enjoy peace and the knowledge that one day they will see God face to face.
I had a chance to communicate with the souls in purgatory. They asked me to pray for them and to tell the people to pray for them as well, so they can go to heaven quickly. When we pray for these souls, we will receive their gratitude through their prayers, and once they enter heaven, their prayers become even more meritorious.
It is difficult for me to describe how beautiful my Guardian Angel is. He is radiant and bright. He is my constant companion and helps me in all my ministries, especially my healing ministry. I experience his presence everywhere I go and I am grateful for his protection in my daily life.
Heaven
Next, my angel escorted me to heaven passing through a big dazzling white tunnel. I never experienced this much peace and joy in my life. Then immediately heaven opened up and I heard the most delightful music, which I never heard before. The angels were singing and praising God.
I saw all the saints, especially the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, and many dedicated holy Bishops and priests who were shining like stars. And when I appeared before the Lord, Jesus told me: “I want you to go back to the world. In your second life, you will be an instrument of peace and healing to My people. You will walk in a foreign land and you will speak in a foreign tongue. Everything is possible for you with My grace.” After these words, the Blessed Mother told me: “Do whatever He tells you. I will help you in your ministries.”
Words can not express the beauty of heaven. There we find so much peace and happiness, which exceed a million times our imagination. Our Lord is far more beautiful than any image can convey. His face is radiant and luminous and more beautiful than a thousand rising suns.
The pictures we see in the world are only a shadow of His magnificence. The Blessed Mother was next to Jesus; She was so beautiful and radiant. None of the images we see in this world can compare with Her real beauty. Heaven is our real home; we are all created to reach heaven and enjoy God forever. Then, I came back to the world with my angel.
While my body was at the hospital, the doctor completed all examinations and I was pronounced dead. The cause of death was bleeding. My family was notified, and since they were far away, the hospital staff decided to move my dead body to the morgue. Because the hospital did not have air conditioners, they were concerned that the body would decompose quickly.
As they were moving my dead body to the morgue, my soul came back to the body. I felt an excruciating pain because of so many wounds and broken bones. I began to scream, and then the people became frightened and ran away screaming. One of them approached the doctor and said: “The dead body is screaming.” The doctor came to examine the body and found that I was alive. So he said: “Father is alive, it is a miracle! Take him back to the hospital.”
Now, back at the hospital, they gave me blood transfusions and I was taken to surgery to repair the broken bones. They worked on my lower jaw, ribs, pelvic bone, wrists, and right leg.
After two months, I was released from the hospital, but my orthopedic doctor said that I would never walk again. I then said to him: “The Lord who gave me my life back and sent me back to the world will heal me.” Once at home, we were all praying for a miracle. Still after a month, and with the casts removed, I was not able to move.
But one day while praying I felt an extraordinary pain in my pelvic area. After a short while the pain disappeared completely and I heard a voice saying: “You are healed. Get up and walk.” I felt the peace and healing power on my body. I immediately got up and walked. I praised and thanked God for the miracle.
I reached my doctor with the news of my healing, and he was amazed. He said: “Your God is the true God. I must follow your God.” The doctor was Hindu, and he asked me to teach him about our Church. After studying the Faith, I baptized him and he became Catholic.
Following the message from my Guardian Angel, I came to the United States on November 10, 1986 as a missionary priest… Since June 1999, I have been pastor of St. Mary’s Mother of Mercy Catholic Church in Macclenny, Florida.
Mental Feng Shui February 8, 2008
Posted by koky in : Life, Philosophy , add a commentThe Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.
FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
Send this link out to as many people as possible…
Father holding girl’s hand January 16, 2008
Posted by koky in : Life , add a comment
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, ‘Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’ The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ Asked the puzzled father. ‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl. ‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.’
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…
Chinese Horoscope 2008 - Pig December 30, 2007
Posted by koky in : Life , 1 comment so far
General
For those who are born in the year of the Pig, though you have moved away from the unstable year of 2007, this year is not going to be easy for you too. Your health will be one of your top concerns this year. You are more prone to falling ill. It is more important to conserve your energy. Though you may have very outstanding performances in your career, you need to be very selective in who your allies are because there tends to be more power struggles this year. You will find that there are not many people who can help you. It is important to keep positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people.
Career
On the career front, there are many power struggles. Office politics and unhealthy competition does not help matters. You need to be careful in who you choose to be your allies and also be careful of not getting involved in unnecessary matters. You will need to put your foot down where necessary. Do not let others push you into a corner. This is the time that you need to revise and implement your political skills. Focus your energy on doing your work well and you will find that you are able to produce excellent results. If you are in business, you will be able to stabilize your business this year. However, do not act aggressively. Go slow and steady and you will be able to achieve more in the long run.
Wealth
Money matters could be quite tight this year. Avoid investments.
Relationship
If you are in a relationship, you will have a loving year. You will get the support from your spouse or partner through these unstable days. If you are single, you will have a high chance of finding the love of your life this year.
Health
Not good. You will be more prone to fall ill because your immune system is especially low this year. Due to a lack of rest and spreading yourself too thin, you will increase your risk of being accident-prone. Please pay extra attention to your health in terms of having a healthy diet, keep your stress levels in check and do exercises regularly.
People
People could be quite nasty to you this year. You need to focus on what you want to accomplish and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Do not get distracted by gossip and power struggles. Remember to be calm and adopt your diplomatic skills.
Action
Place a Metal Pagoda in your wealth position. Carry a jade Pixiu. Place a Scepter near you.