Don’t Quit January 20, 2008
Posted by koky in : Poem , add a commentDon’t Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out.
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are -
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit -
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
~ Author Unknown
Questions about Canada January 19, 2008
Posted by koky in : Jokes , add a commentA Canadian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a Toronto diner when an American guy, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Canadian ignored the American, who nevertheless started up a conversation.
The American snapped his gum and said: ‘You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?’ Annoyed at having his leisurely breakfast interrupted, the Canadian frowned and replied: ‘Of course.’
The American blew a huge bubble and grinned. ‘We don’t. In the States we only eat what’s inside. We collect the crusts in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada.’
The Canadian listened in silence, but the American persisted. ‘D’ya eat jelly with the bread?’ The Canadian sighed. ‘Of course.’ Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said: ‘We don’t. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Canada.’
The Canadian then asked: ‘Do you have sex in the States?’ The American smiled and said: ‘Of course, we do.’ The Canadian leaned closer and asked: ‘And what do you do with the condom once you’ve used them?’ ‘We throw them away, of course.’
Now, it was the Canadian’s turn to smile. ‘We don’t. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States.’
Smart kids with great answers January 18, 2008
Posted by koky in : Education , add a commentA 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Don’t change horses…. until they stop running.
2. Strike while the…. bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before…. Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of…. termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but…. How?
6. Don’t bite the hand that…. looks dirty.
7. No news is…. impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a…. Mr.
9. You can’t teach an old dog new …. Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…. stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust…. Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the…. pigs.
13. An idle mind is…. the best way to relax.
14. Where there’s smoke there’s…. pollution.
15. Happy the bride who…. gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is…. not much.
17. Two’s company, three’s…. the Musketeers.
18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what…. you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…. You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as…. Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not…. spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don’t succeed…. get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you…. See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind…. get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand…. is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER is…
26. Better late than ….. Pregnant
How to make a woman happy January 17, 2008
Posted by koky in : Jokes , add a commentIt’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
55. birthdays
56. anniversaries
57. arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
Father holding girl’s hand January 16, 2008
Posted by koky in : Life , add a comment
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, ‘Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’ The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ Asked the puzzled father. ‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl. ‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.’
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…
My Boss and I January 5, 2008
Posted by koky in : Management , add a commentWhen I take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don’t do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you’re an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he’s only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he’s on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it’s because he’s overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
Why Men and Women Differs January 2, 2008
Posted by koky in : Jokes , add a commentNICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
* The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
* What a woman says: C’mon..This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you’ll have no clothes if we don’t do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C’MON … blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah,
blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW